Okay, so here I am, Eli, minding my own business, cruisin' 'round the city like a cheery little schoolgirl. Then outta nowhere, on the bench lies a brilliant cerulean, maybe neon blue, dress with two white stripes: one at the waist and the other at the bottom. There's a tag attached to it that reads, "FREE". The dress comes bundled with a pair of white gloves, which something tells me that they look so awfully familiar that there are only four fingers on each hand. Since the whole outfit is free of charge, I thought I'd take it and find a mens' locker room to change. So, without hesitation, I rush in there, leave my cell phone out, take off m